History is Simply Who We Are, So Far.

There are certain traditions one generally subscribes to during the course of an annual Superbowl game. One generally indulges in copious amounts of crunchy snack foods, drinks ice cold beer out of the bottle, is filled with anticipation to view the next latest and greatest multi-million dollar soda pop commercial (which is just so wrong, on so many levels, is it not?), rocks out to the uber-superstar-filled half-time show, and occasionally cheers on the players of the game. One, generally, does not wax philosophical in the midst of so much superficiality. Though, maybe one should. At any rate, this year, out of the clear blue, there it was. In plain English, a most basic belief of mine wrapped up in one tiny little red bow.

"I believe we are best defined by where we are going, rather than by where we have been."

Proud, and a little bit tickled with myself (I haven't always felt so existential while watching football, after all), I wrote that down in my journal, then proceeded to post said brand new little ditty on my Facebook page, on my Skype account, and when I can figure out what the heck this Twitter phenomenon is... oh gracious, it'll probably end up there too.

There was a period of time about seven years ago, when I visited with a therapist once a week, for about six months. His name was Dr. Diamond, and I always referred to him as my "Diamond in the rough." I was the rough. At the time, I was mind-boggled, nearly, with where I was in life. I needed to figure out who I was, where I was going, what I was doing here, and why I'd made some of the decisions that seemed to royally backfire. I dreaded these sessions, yet at the same time, I lived and breathed for them. I learned that growing pains hurt like hell, but I also learned to take solace in the fact that these pains actually (gasp!) get me somewhere good. Somewhere truly worth going.

Dr. Diamond was adamant about how history can teach us everything we need to know about ourselves. He and his fourteen-year old son drove three hours north every weekend to reenact the Civil War, for crying out loud. I don't remember if they belonged to the North or the South side of things because it never impressed me very much. (Honestly, I'd be hard pressed to remember the name of even one General from that war, which I realize is pathetic.) I've not since known anyone as passionate about history as Dr. Diamond, and although I truly cannot comprehend how exactly he gets to the level of passion surrounding it, I can respect and appreciate it. It works for him.

I am, however, left wondering how it is even remotely plausible to craft our own futures, our own lives, our own happiness, if we are constantly looking backward in time? It seems like that is just watching things from the wings, instead of taking action & responsibility for ourselves, out in the forefront. And not even in the forefront, necessarily... what about just Stage Left, even? As long as you're acting on something.

Isn't it direly important to figure out what we, as individuals, want, and then go out and get it? To create it for ourselves, in the ways in which we want it, and not how people did things two-hundred years ago? My gosh... the freedom in realizing that we get to make it up.

It is blatantly obvious that Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein and Martin Luther King, Jr., are just a few of the amazing players that undoubtedly have had some of the most brilliant minds, and have made some of the greatest impressions, of all time. There is no arguing that. However, is it presumed that by looking backward to them, that they have therefore crafted the one and only way to ever do anything, ever again?

I believe that the measure of a person's greatness lies in what we see individually in ourselves, and in where we individually see ourselves headed. It seems to me that the greatest and most influential people of our time saw it in a similar way. They were the ones that broke the mold... they did not follow it.

That is why we know them. This is why they were so great.

Along with a slew of others, I, too, believe that we are who we are because of where we've come from and because of the various experiences we've had. However, that is just who we have been up to this very point... so in a sense, the "where we've been" nearly ceases to matter, because at any point in our lives, we can choose to make things entirely different. Or, we can choose to keep them the same. Either way, it becomes a choice. I've come to believe that it is that level of awareness and conviction about it, that truly defines who we are. It is indicative of where we are intentionally going, instead of where we've been by default. And, when you are intentionally going somewhere, each step is brand new, because it's being created in that very instant.

It takes courage to see beyond what you (think you) know, or probably most painfully, what you've been told you know. It takes courage to see what hasn't been written yet, and it takes the most courage to act on that. To truly and honestly listen to your self. To have faith. And it is that courage to change things on a dime, if you so desire, that speaks volumes about a person's character and strength, I think.

When I say that it's where you are going that most defines you, it's because it is conscious and intended and purposeful. It is the true and "active" you, and the you that you are choosing to be, not something you're resting your laurels on, or just trying to repeat because "it worked for someone else the first time." If you are choosing to only define yourself by where you've been, or by where someone else has been, then you cannot keep moving forward. By definition, it is not possible. What is life, anyway, if not to be lived, and gone after??

I have become goosebump-inducingly aware that what works for me is to reach for what it is that I love, for what makes me happy, for what offers me freedom and peace. It is all that which, therefore, best defines me, because I am quite intentionally crafting my future, and along with it, my present.

Dr. Diamond imparted a lot of profound and life-altering lessons in those six months, but the one that stuck with me the most was this. "It's what you do when no one is looking, that matters the most." And so, it's the individual choices you make when no one is looking, that is, at its core, how you define yourself.

And your future life, right along with it.